Subject: Men's Room Etiquette
Date: Fri, 1 Nov 96 16:25:09 -0800
From: Peter Langston
From: Keith Bostic
From: Carl Staelin
From: sread@diba.com (J. Stuart Read)
Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty.
There IS a code of Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.
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The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X
above the number will indicate "in use."
(Sample):
| | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.)
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You are to identify, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall
you should stand. Good luck!
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Easy Section
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1.)
| | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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Your choice: ___
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Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
instinctively knows this.
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2.)
| x | | | | | | (Urinal 1 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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Your choice: ___
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a
greater risk of being next to someone
who arrives later.
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Kind of tricky Section:
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3.)
| | | | | | | (empty)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
--------------------------
Your choice: __
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 1 or 6 You are tacitly saying,
"I don't want anyone next to me."
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4.)
| | x | | x | | x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
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Correct answer: 1 You're stuck being next to at
least ONE guy, so you minimize the
impact and get a wall on your left.
NEVER go between TWO guys if you
can help it. Exceptions to this
are stadium restrooms where the
herd thunders in.
===============================================
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Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section
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5.)
| | x | | | x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: __
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 4 Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples"
you with the guy in stall 2. And we
wouldn't want THAT now, would we?
This differs from question 4 in such a
subtle way that the nuances cannot be
explained. Suffice to say, only we men
would understand!
===============================================
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VERY tricky indeed Section
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6.)
| x | x | | | x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to
comb your hair or straighten a tie
until the urinals "open up" a bit more.
If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for
god's sake! ... use a doored stall.
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Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
-- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep
it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
-- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of
anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of
the highest offense.
-- NO Singing. Period.
-- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see
you there. I will not look again".
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