Subject: Men's Room Etiquette

Date: Fri, 1 Nov 96 16:25:09 -0800 From: Peter Langston From: Keith Bostic From: Carl Staelin From: sread@diba.com (J. Stuart Read) Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty. There IS a code of Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed. =============================================== The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use." (Sample): | | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.) ------------------------- You are to identify, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you should stand. Good luck! -------------------- Easy Section -------------------- 1.) | | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: ___ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this. =============================================== 2.) | x | | | | | | (Urinal 1 occupied.) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: ___ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Correct answer: 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later. =============================================== ------------------------- Kind of tricky Section: ------------------------- 3.) | | | | | | | (empty) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | -------------------------- Your choice: __ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Correct answer: 1 or 6 You are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me." =============================================== 4.) | | x | | x | | x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: ___ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Correct answer: 1 You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms where the herd thunders in. =============================================== ----------------------------------------------- Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section ----------------------------------------------- 5.) | | x | | | x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: __ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Correct answer: 4 Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2. And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice to say, only we men would understand! =============================================== ----------------------------- VERY tricky indeed Section ----------------------------- 6.) | x | x | | | x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: ___ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Correct answer: NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for god's sake! ... use a doored stall. =============================================== Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals: -- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse. -- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense. -- NO Singing. Period. -- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again".

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