Subject: Men's Room Etiquette
Date: Fri,  1 Nov 96 16:25:09 -0800
From: Peter Langston 
From: Keith Bostic 
From: Carl Staelin 
From: sread@diba.com (J. Stuart Read)

Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty.
There IS a code of Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.
===============================================

The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.  An X
above the number will indicate "in use."

(Sample):

 |   |   | x |   |   | x |     (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |     are occupied.)
 -------------------------

You are to identify, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall
you should stand.  Good luck!

 --------------------
   Easy Section
 --------------------
1.)

 |   | x |   | x |   |   |     (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice: ___
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 6        It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
                         instinctively knows this.
===============================================
2.)

 | x |   |   |   |   |   |    (Urinal 1 occupied.)
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice:  ___
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 6        Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a
                         greater risk of being next to someone
                         who arrives later.
===============================================
 -------------------------
 Kind of tricky Section:
 -------------------------
3.)

 |   |   |   |   |   |   |   (empty)
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 --------------------------

Your choice:  __
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer:  1 or 6    You are tacitly saying,
                           "I don't want anyone next to me."
===============================================
4.)

  |   | x |   | x |   | x |       (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
  -------------------------

Your choice:  ___
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer:  1        You're stuck being next to at
                          least ONE guy, so you minimize the
                          impact and get a wall on your left.
                          NEVER go between TWO guys if you
                          can help it.  Exceptions to this
                          are stadium restrooms where the
                          herd thunders in.
===============================================
 -----------------------------------------------
 Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section
 -----------------------------------------------
5.)

|   | x |   |   | x | x |          (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice:  __
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer:  4       Believe it or not,  1 and 3 "couples"
                         you with the guy in stall 2.  And we
                         wouldn't want THAT now, would we?

                         This differs from question 4 in such a
                         subtle way that the nuances cannot be
                         explained.  Suffice to say, only we men
                         would understand!
===============================================
 -----------------------------
 VERY tricky indeed Section
 -----------------------------
6.)

| x | x |   |   | x | x |          (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice:  ___
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer:  NONE!  You go to the mirror and pretend to
                        comb your hair or straighten a tie
                        until the urinals "open up" a bit more.
                        If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for
                        god's sake! ... use a doored stall.
===============================================
Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
 -- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep
    it terse and unemotional.  This ain't no clubhouse.
 -- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of
    anyone other than yourself.  A touch of another's elbow is of
    the highest offense.
 -- NO Singing.  Period.
 -- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see
    you there.  I will not look again".